Mead

Mead: A wine-like alcoholic beverage made of fermented honey and water rather than grape juice. (something sweet that fermented)
I knew a boy, yes hes was cute, and yes he liked me. I think maybe he was my first love. And it was a delicious secret! Maybe that should have been the first indication. But I was blissfully unaware, enjoying having such a tantalizing bit of information all to myself! Like wearing pretty, matching underwear, I felt so special, and no one else knew why. We had fun together and he made me feel like a million dollars, we danced, we shared icecream, argued, teased and played games. Little did I know, there were more games going on then I knew. In fact, it was quite a big game, and there were a few playing. or rather, a few being played with. There was Lisa, (names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the damned) Carry, and more I'm sure. It's really no wonder "we" had wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while. You know what happens when someone makes you fell like a million dollars and all of a sudden it was lies? You feel very cheap somehow. What a blow, how humiliating! But what still confuses me is how, how in my head, did he manage to be the yard stick for years to come? I should have beat him with a yard stick, instead he was that by which others were measured. My heart would still flutter when I saw him , when he took the time to talk to me, or even just look at me. He was smarter, funnier, cuter, braver, more carefree, was I trying to find the same person who would instead have me and love me? Eventually, somehow, I came to my senses, his faults were not my faults! How ridiculous! My insecurities were simply a reflection of his own, and he had not given me my confidence, so how dare I let him take it away. I saw him not very long ago. He sure wasn't what I remembered. Instead was this small, shaggy, wise ass, who seemed more crazy and unstable than brave and carefree. Strange. Oh, and incidently, I happened to look darn good that day!