Who am I

Now, should this be an honest snap shot of who I really am? Or should this be an over analyzed, identity crisis typed out in all it's glory? I could say I am an artist, or a horse person, I could say I am religious, an author, a traveler, or a welder, or pastry chef. But does that really tell you anything about me? I can say that I paint abstract art while listening to punk rock, and like drive to classical piano bu weld in silence. I ride horse in skater shoes and a hoodie. I have seldom chanced to be out of the country, and wish I could travel a lot, even though flying makes me ill. Now that tells you a little bit more about me. But at the same time, it tells you nothing, except that I am a walking contradiction.

I do not want to be known as 'An Artist' or 'A Horse Person'. I simply do not fit in any box, and I am pretty sure I would hate it if I did. For instance, would you like a list of things I have done in a dress and heels? Run, pound a fence post, push a stuck car, and shoot a gun.

I put down an animal when it needed to be done, and then balled my eyes out. I am a little girl when there is a spider on the ceiling, or anything to do with mucus.
If I knew why I did any of these thing, then that would be the really telling part about who I am. 

Do I refuse to fit into a box because somewhere deep inside I feel that I am not good enough at anything to fit properly into any box? Do I bounce to the tune of my own bird song because I am not sure I could keep rhythm with anyone else’s music, or because I don't like anybody else’s music?

There could be an entirely different angle too. Am I atypical to get attention? Then again it could be to keep people on their toes, so they never really get to know me. This would make sense given my ingrained abandonment issues. But that is a topic for an entirely different blogging day.

What is happening to communication

The other day I saw a lady walking her two daughters to school, one was young, and the other was a young teen. I smiled, it was nice to see, a great chance for Mom to talk and bond with her daughters, and good opportunity for them to voice any concerns. The young girl was between Mom and Big Sis, she looks up at one, then the other, then looks down at her feet, walking along. Then I realized, both Mom, and Sis, have their ear buds in.

Last week I had breakfast with my mom. I noticed the people around the restaurant enjoying their food, and their company, sort of. Cell phones ringing, buzzing, beeping. One table had two gentlemen, who were each on their cell phones through the arrival of a lady, and for a good ten minutes following. Then they all sat visiting and eating, but in a short bit, all three of them are trying to have productive conversations... over the phone.

I drive school bus now and again. Among all of the kids that are loud, laughing, goofing off, is a growing number of kids with their nose, not in a book, but in their PSP or some such device. "I'm in chat room two" they tell each other across the aisle. While the bus driver in me appreciates the ensuing silence, I am alarmed.

What are we coming to? What are we doing to ourselves, and our society?
Why is having a tune in our ear more important than being in tune with our children?
Why is the person who calls during breakfast more important then those who join us for breakfast?
Why are we more comfortable trying to voice our emotions into texts, than hearing emotion in our friend's voice?
How far will we degress? Will text hugs and kisses replace actually reaching out to someone? Will phone or cyber sex be as prevelant as actually touching someone, is it already? LOL instead of belly laughs, tears and kness slapping with real people? :D :) :P :O :( :'( because we don't know anyone well enough to tell them how we feel?