Memory like an 85yr old

Why, at 27 do I have the memory of a senior? I forget everything!
How often have you left your purse or wallet in restaurant? I used to do it ALL the time. If my friends didn't constantly remind me, I still would!
Have you ever left an expensive piece of sports equipment, that you were just using, leaning against a building, as you head for home? I have, a snowboard in fact, propped against the chalet, while I get all undressed and hop in the car! Why, why, why?
I am late, always. At least I am consistent right? But, why am I late? Because cell phones, keys and such, don't answer when you call their name. In fact, I suspect that they hide! I will find them, sometimes together, usually not, on some random surface in the house. On top of the dryer, on the dresser in the spare room, beside the bathroom sink, in the tack room outside, on the deck railing. Why? I don't know!
If it included an area code it usually takes three tries for me to dial a phone number that someone was saying to me, because I always forget. There would be no point in announcing my licence plate number if my headlights were on. I don't remember what my plate number is, not even a clue!
Some would assume I am just a flake, that nothing matters enough to me. Entirely untrue. I am a very devoted friend, and I hate it when I forget simple stuff. Have I tried to improve it? Of course I have, with minimal results. Whats stupid though, it that I remember stupid things! I remember the color of peoples eyes, and their shoes, my first memory is from before I was even three. I'll remember that so-and-so hates dogs, long after they don't hate dogs anymore, but I won't remember that they changed their mind! I can't remember anyone's phone numbers, thank goodness for in- phone contact lists, but I still remember the first phone number we had when I was little.

Cooking outside the Box

Shortly after discovering that I had a gluten allergy, I was at home, wondering what on earth I was going to eat. There is of food in the house. Pasta, bread, crackers, some veggies, soup, but I desperatly need to do some shopping. The problem being, most stuff is made with, or thickened with wheat flour. So I look carefully, an egg, rice crackers, but nothing else to put on them, and it hardly qualifies as a meal. All the soups are noodle somethings, or creamed. Since I'm newly allergic, I have nothing as far as gluten free breads, flours or the like in my pantry. Ugh, think outside the box. I have salad, AGAIN, so what can I put with the salad to add some variety. There are no chicken breasts hiding in the back of the freezer. Sigh. I went for a quick walk, because maybe the wild puff balls were ready. And sure enough, they are! Beautiful fat pearls in the grass! I walk, poking them as I go, spongy ones got to stay and spore out. But the ones that were firm, and broke the ground with a solid snap, those are my delicious little nuggets of happiness. When I get back inside with a good helping of mushrooms, I have to decide just what to do with them. Egg, rice crackers, oil, sea salt, mmmm. The rice crackers are crushed, and the sliced mushrooms coated with egg and the cracker crumbs. Once the oil is hot, I fry the little discs in olive oil until they are golden and crispy. With a dash of pepper and sea salt, they grace the plate next to my salad of field greens. Fantastic!

Paintballs are Not Good Dog Food

The other day, I am sitting on my couch, reading a book, when my husband walks in. We are chatting about something or other when he starts peering oddly at something over my shoulder. I turn around slowely to see orange spatter across my wall. Odd, to say the least. We investigate further, and find a handful of orange paintballs that have fallen behind our antique trunk/corner coffee table. Right about then I notice both of our, normally energetic and cuddly, dogs slinking off down the hallway. Now, our dogs have a minor obssesion with balls, so a ball, thats squishy, AND squirts if you bite it, I understand the draw. Today, when I got home, my dogs were peeking out of the curtains, very happy to see me, waging their little tails. That would be cute, except that my dogs are not supposed to be peeking out of the living room window. They are supposed to be secure in the kitchen, behind a baby gate. (yes, they are that small, yes, they still qualify as dogs) Add to my dismay, I already knew that there was going to be a mess to clean up, since, well... paintballs are not quality dog food. (no, I do not have a paintball gun, so then why do I have paintballs? I do not know!) When I got in the house, a mess is an understatement. There are many puddles, ranging in orange shades from apricot to tangarine across my kitchen, and one particularily large one that started on the couch, and ended on the area rug, at least it was a pale shade. I tip toe through the kitchen assessing the damage, and getting the mop bucket, only to discover that using the back of my couch and a viewing window between the kitchen and living room, they have been on my counter. And accompanying the orange rainbow on the floor, is a broken glass, that had been full of water. Now, now I can't mop the floor because of the glass, I can't vaccum the glass because of the puddles, I can't even pick up all the glass, and manage to avoid all the puddles. The dogs, mean time, smartly dissappeared into the deep grasses of the back yard within moments of my opening the door. To my amazement, the orange did not stain the floor, or the leather of the couch, and much to my relief, it seems that they at least got it all over with in one foul shot. But had you come to visit me that day... I would have happily given you two very cute Daschunds, at no charge what so ever. Who knew that paintballs taste good enough to eat, they smell awful, but that may have been the combination of... contents that I was smelling. I doubt I will ever go paintballing again.

Multitasking in the bathtub

How many people multitask in the bath? And I don't mean shaving while leaving our conditioner in for two minutes. Lots of people read, there are even handy little book rack that you can hook on the edges of the tub, so that you don't get the pages wet. And lots have the music on. Some of us talk on the phone, just don't drop it, trust me.
How about watch TV? Why not? I know a lady that tilted the TV in her bedroom, so that she can watch TV in bed, and when the en suite door is open, watch from the tub! Genius right, glass of wine, good movie and a warm bath!
I have tape over my web cam, because I go online when I'm lounging in the bath. Do I need to have tape over the web cam? I don't really know, but I feel better that way. Plus, I can blog, update Facebook, check out movie reviews, write an e-mail to grandma, and research which jewelry kiln I want to buy, all from the comfort of a pleasant smelling, bubbly bath!
Some people sleep in the bath. Two problems though... you go to sleep warm, wake up in cold bath water. Yuck! Also, it is very disturbing to know that someone is in the bath, but they won't answer you when you ask them how long they will be. Even more disturbing, when you stick your head in the door, and they still don't answer you. Then you look and realize, that it looks like they are fully submerged! So you rush in, panicking and pull their head out of the water, only for them to gasp fearfully, as they are wrenched from peaceful slumber, to look into someone's terrified face, then you quickly realizes that they are OK. And naked. And you are there, soaking wet, having burst in upon them, naked, in the bathtub. Awkward, very awkward I tell you.
I do not sleep in the bathtub.
What else could one accomplish while in the bath? Paint, draw? I don't think that would go very well. I'm imagining water warped pages and possible tinted bath water? Anything to do with photographs would be a bad idea, they don't generally get along with water. Have you ever tried writing? Wouldn't the angles be all wrong? I don't think it would be comfortable. Food prep? Bahahaha! Just joking!

We are All Pyromaniacs at Heart

Why is it that we are mesmerized by the flicker of flame? The current answer would be something about evolution, bah! Lets just dismiss that, because after however million years it is supposed to have been since we evolved, I am sure we would have lost our 'instictual response' to flame as a life giver. After all, if your mind follows that avenue, we lost the 'instinctual response' to flame as a danger, unlike most animals existing now, who flee from fire.
Sure, fire terrifies us a little, our heart gets going when a bit of flame gets away on us. But at the same time, we are entirely taken with the fluid movement. We can contain fire, to an extent in specific pits, boxes, etc, but the fact is that we cannot catch and entirely tame it. Kind of like a rainbow! Who isn't absolutly moved to see a brilliant, full bow, of glowing color. Maybe thats the key, that we have no way of traping it, saving it. There are thousands of photos taken of fire, and rainbows, ooo oo! and northern lights, none of which do justice. But we continue to try, and we are amazed everytime. Is the illusiveness the pull?
Fire though, fire seems more so. We sit infront of, even a little gas fire place, or a space filled with candles, and our eyes are drawn to the dance of the flames, night after night. Every fire is different, yes, but not so different that we can find something new to admire everytime.
Is it because we know that when unleashed, is distructive, and deadly? Is it a tiny thrill of having something so dangerous, as a veritable pet in our home, like a lion on a chain? Does it charge our ego?
Or are we pulled to the constant light and warmth. As long as we feed, protect, and nurture it, it will respond like a lover, and fill our lives with as much light and warmth that we can handle. We can come home to an empty house, no one waiting with the lights on, but when we light a fire, and bask in its glow, we feel... almost loved. Is that the draw? Substitute affection of sorts?
What, what is it that engages us so?

Mulled Whine

I worked with a group of women in a non-traditional environment once . I thought that other women who wanted to work there would be a lot like me, that it would be fun. What a joke! I have never seen so many back biting, sneaky, catty, self absorbed, competitive women in my life. I was shocked, it reminded me of high school. "Oh no, Susan sits here," I was told by Laura, though the lunch room was not assigned seating, and Susan didn't actually work there yet, but once she did... oh it was exciting! Lunch time was like being in the change room with cheerleaders. "Really? Oh my god, well," Laura pauses to smile scandalously at the married manager, then leans forward to whisper in Susan's ear. The juicy tidbit was rewarded with an awed gasp, "You know, everyone of those children has a different father, and she wonders where her daughter gets it from!" Susan reported to the entire table. And later, Susan clucks her tongue with disgust to hear that pretty young Tanya admitted to flashing her husband out the front window when he left for work. Laura then proceeds to tell us all about her daughter's job in electronics sales, informing us with a giggle that if she was having trouble making a sale, she just had to show a little more cleavage and viola! It really made me wonder, as I sat, day after day, trying not to choke on my cheese sandwich, where did it start. Did teenage girls mimic their mother's attitude in highschool to feel mature? Or did mother's start acting like their teenage daughters to feel young again?

Alternate Dimensions

There are all sorts of movies, books, and theories regarding alternate dimensions. Sometimes they are scary stories about creepy things that slip through an entryway to another reality. Or intriguing ideas of a parallel universe that branches with every different decisions we make.

This other place is supposed to develop and run along side of our own. Is that possible? Does it exist?

Could the very beings of this world move among us unseen? Are they unaware of us? Do they speculate about our lives, the things that we do? Or, do they move around us, well aware of our behaviour, observing our antics?

Evolutionist would dispute whether that was a scientific possiblity. People with religious beliefs would probably say no, that such a place was not created.

I cannot address the ideas of an evolutionist, which I am not, but, what about spirit creatures?

By definition, albeit loosly defined, if you believe in angels, or demons, do they not dwell in a parallel dimension? Not an alternate reality, as if another version of us. But it is a realm in which they live, that we cannot see, yet exists. Though we are mostly unaware of their presence, the persons in this realm can walk next to us, through us, around us. In which case, as the spirit world would have been here first, we are the alernate dimension.

*Insert twighlight zone music* DEEDLE deedle DEEDLE deedle

What do you think?